Terrible day.

Today was AWFUL. I don't know if it could have been any worse for me. I have really been struggling ever since we learned how to fulcrum. I kept getting so frustrated, thinking that I am just retarded or something since everyone is doing fine. I was having such a hard time fulcruming because it felt impossible for my ring finger to reach any of the teeth so that I can actually fulcrum and use the instrument correctly at the same time.

Instructor Demings was so nice today to spend a lot of time with me to try to figure out my problem. I was getting so frustrated. After many failed attempts, she brought in the big guns. (Professor Costley) I explained to Professor Costley my problem about how i can't seem to reach any of the teeth to fulcrum and maintain the right grasp (or any grasp for that matter) and use the instrument correctly all at the same time. I showed her what I meant. She had me try choking up on the instrument, trying numerous incorrect grasps, and many other things. Nothing works. My fingers are too short. My ring finger literally can't reach the area I'm supposed to be fulcruming on. BIG PROBLEM. I never thought that the fact that I am tiny would ever effect my ability to be a dental hygienist.

Professor Costley told me that she honestly doesn't know what I should do. She is going to talk to all of the instructors in the program to see if any of them can come up with a solution to my problem. She said they've never had this problem before. I am totally stressed out. I've been super bummed about it all day. I've wanted to be a dental hygienist since I was eight years old. I am so sad. I really hope we can figure out something. Until then I'll probably remain very anxious and unhappy.

UGH.